


all i want for christmas is you

by tumemxnques



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, How Do I Tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-05 16:44:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16814518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tumemxnques/pseuds/tumemxnques
Summary: Wanda thought that maybe Christmas Miracles were a thing after all. And hers was called Natasha.





	1. part 1

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first (and probably last) work on here but since my friends asked me to post something I decided to write a Christmas story and I hope you’ll like it :) It’s a four chapter one and I will update it every Sunday until Christmas. Thanks to Maria for correcting my mistakes and thanks to her friend for making this possible! Still, English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry for any mistakes.

**It's Christmas time**   
**There's no need to be afraid**   
**At Christmas time**   
**We let in light and we banish shade**   
**And in our world of plenty**   
**We can spread a smile of joy**   
**Throw your arms around the world**   
**At Christmas time**

\- band aid 20

  
It was finally December, and the Christmas air was getting to everyone - the Avengers included.

Natasha’s favorite activity had become running around, dancing and only singing Christmas songs. Steve was constantly begging anyone - especially Nat - to help him bake some cookies. Vision threw around random Christmas facts, which had already earned him a few thrown cookie boxes from Natasha. Wanda was apparently going through her whole red-colored closet, pulling out only Christmas sweaters to wear, Bucky let Peter stick snowflake magnets to his metal arm (Sam was constantly rolling his eyes at that) and Tony was building a singing Christmas tree (something no one needed, but that man needed to be kept busy) with Bruce and Rhodey in his lab, while Pepper and Maria argued about what kind of decoration should go on said tree.

Thor sometimes stopped by with Loki, but the atmosphere was pretty overwhelming for two gods who had never even heard of Christmas before, so they always disappeared quickly.

Nick was extremely annoyed with every single one of them since he hated Christmas, and Clint spent most of the month with his family anyway, so he never stayed for long when he decided to stop by.

That particular day, the girls had decided to go dress shopping, so it wouldn’t end in panic and stressing about being late and not finding the perfect fit later.

“I found my purse, we‘re good to go!“ Natasha shouted and grabbed the keys to her Corvette from the kitchen counter.

Pepper raised an eyebrow and stopped her with an outstretched arm when she wanted to reach for the door.

“What?“ Natasha asked and Pepper lowered her arm.

“What about Wanda?“ Pepper argued and Maria nodded. “I‘ll get her, give me a second.“

Nat pouted. “Are you being serious? You wanna bring the Maximoff freak along?“

At that, Pepper hit her hard. “Natasha! What is it with you and that girl?“

The spy shrugged. She didn‘t even know that herself. There was just always that feeling that warned her, that wanted to push Wanda away. So she did.

“Wanda won‘t cause any problems. And you will behave because otherwise - I swear to god - Clint will kick your ass.“

“ _Clint will kick my ass_ ,” Natasha mimicked her mockingly, but before Pepper could hit her a second time, a whirlwind of brown hair and red Christmas sweater came rushing down the stairs.

“Oh my god, thanks for taking me along, I‘m so sorry I’m late, I‘m hurrying!“ she babbled, making Pepper laugh.

“It‘s fine, Wanda.“

Maria smiled as she came down the stairs. “She‘s cute,“ she mumbled to Pepper and Natasha when she opened the door and stepped through.

“Dammit, I forgot my jacket upstairs!“ Wanda whined and Natasha clenched her fists in annoyance, rolling her eyes.

“Just take one of mine from the rack right there,“ Pepper said gently with a smile. “We‘ll wait for you outside!“ she then shouted and headed outside with the rest of the group.

The winter air was extremely cold and dry as the girls (minus Wanda) stepped outside and unlocked their cars.

“I‘m driving with Pepper!“ Maria announced and jumped into the passenger’s seat of Tony‘s orange Audi.

Natasha growled. “Are you kidding me? I won‘t take that girl with me, she can walk!“ Pepper shot her an angry look.

“Come on, Natasha, get your shit together. You will survive that ten minute drive. We’ll meet you at Mia‘s!“ Then she got into the car without another word and took off with her other friend.

“Wow. Nice, guys, very nice,“ Nat mumbled to herself and got into the car.

A few moments later, a panting Wanda fell into the seat next to her and closed the door. “Sorry, I couldn‘t find a coat that fit.“

Looking at her, Natasha thought she might burst any second. “ _That_ ,“ she ground out through clenched teeth, “is my coat.“

Wanda went pale. “Oh shit,“ slipped out of her mouth and she stared at the redhead. “I didn‘t- I mean- I didn‘t mean to!“

Natasha shrugged. “Take it off.“

Wanda‘s eyes became even bigger than they naturally were. “What?“

Natasha started the engine. “You heard me, Maximoff, I don‘t want you to constantly take my things. Take it off.“

Embarrassed, Wanda took the jacket off and folded it in her lap.

“Sorry,“ she whispered and looked down at the coat in her lap, trying to hide the tears in her eyes.

Natasha let the Corvette come to life, and drove off, following Pepper and Maria.

“Wow,“ Wanda breathed as they entered the store. She looked around like a little kid in a candy store and Pepper smiled at her.

“Go, look for something to wear on Christmas Eve!“

Wanda giggled and took off into the mix of shirts and dresses.

“What are you looking for this year?“ Maria asked as she looked around.

“I don‘t know,“ Pepper replied. “Maybe something either green and blue? Or something white?“

Natasha shrugged. “I‘ll take black I guess.“

The other two women groaned in unison to that. “Nat, your taste in color is depressing,“ Pepper whined.

Natasha just rolled her eyes and went right into the deep sea of dresses.

She let the fabric of the different robes glide through her fingers and stopped when she found a dress that was made out of a heavy material. She pulled it out and took a look at it. Although it wasn‘t black like she’d planned it to be, she was surprised to find that she liked it.

It was a dark red, no lace, no pearls, no details. Just the heavy fabric. She turned it around in her hand and examined the neckline of it. It wasn‘t too low, and it wouldn’t choke her either, it was just perfect.

Still a bit reluctant because of the color, she decided to try it on anyway. It wouldn’t hurt to try something different, would it?

“Come on, Maria, what do you think?“ Pepper asked as she looked at herself in a mirror.

“The white one was prettier,“ the woman answered as she smiled at Pepper.

“Right?“ Pepper replied and disappeared into her changing room. “This one‘s details are cute, but I feel like it doesn‘t go well with my hair.“

Maria shrugged outside, although Pepper couldn‘t see her. “I just don‘t like this shade of green. A darker one would have looked nicer, maybe.“

She herself was wearing a midnight blue dress, a pretty short one, actually. She tilted her head to the side as she examined it in the mirror. “Oh Pepper, I don‘t know. Is it too short?“

Pepper stuck her head out of the changing room and raised an eyebrow. “Uh, no!? You have nice legs, you can show them off for once, goddamnit.“

Maria spun around. “Are you sure? What‘s-"

But she couldn‘t finish her question because Pepper cut her off, as always whenever this topic came to the surface. “Stop thinking about what Fury‘s gonna say. He doesn‘t own you.“

She bit her lip, gaining a bit of confidence and nodded. “Okay. I‘ll buy it.“

Pepper smiled. “Good. I‘ll take the white one. You‘re right, it‘s the cutest one. Let‘s go look for shoes.“

Frustrated, Natasha groaned as she failed for the hundredth time to close the zipper of her dress. She was the Black Widow, she knew at least five ways (more if she had time to think about it) to kill someone with a hairpin, why couldn’t she close a damn dress?

“Holy-" she started but bit her lip before she could finish the curse.

“Ow,“ she heard a soft voice from next to her and froze.

“Wanda?“ she asked after a moment and the other girl froze as well in her own changing room.

“Yeah?“ she answered and Natasha stepped out of the changing room.

“Hey, would you mind helping me with the zipper?“

Wanda pushed the curtain aside and was holding her own zipper. “If you could help me with mine?“

Natasha chuckled and took the zipper out of the girl‘s fingers to close it. “There you go,“ she said and turned around, so Wanda could return the help.

But just as she‘d expected, Wanda gasped and then grew stiff when she saw the scars on Natasha‘s back. She bit her lip and forced the tears back. She always acted like she was over it, but every time a person saw the scars for the first time, they reacted in the same way and it broke Natasha‘s heart over and over again.

“Does it look that bad?“ she whispered, sounding defeated, but Wanda shook her head.

“No, no, god, no. It‘s fine, I just... I- I...“ She didn‘t finish the sentence but closed the dress in one fluid motion. “There you go.“

Natasha tried to smile but failed terribly. “Thank you.“

They just looked at each other for a second, before Wanda broke the silence. She hated to see the woman so sad, so she did the first thing she could think of.

“If you don‘t feel comfortable with it, you should ask Steve if he could paint something on your back. It would be a pity if you didn‘t take that dress. You look beautiful.“

Natasha smiled genuinely. “You look pretty, too.“ Wanda really did. The dress was a very light blue with a glittery belt around the waist. The girl looked like a little fairy, Natasha thought.

“Well, thanks for the help,“ Wanda said and gestured towards the curtain. “I‘ll take it off now.“ Natasha nodded and looked at her feet. “Yeah, I‘ll do that too.“ They both disappeared into their changing rooms again, but when Natasha got out, Wanda‘s was already empty, no sign of the girl left.

“Oh, it‘s pretty! Finally, some color,“ Maria exclaimed when she saw Natasha‘s dress in the paper bag.

“Yours isn‘t bad either. I bet your legs look amazing in it,“ Nat returned the compliment.

Pepper gave Maria‘s side a little nudge. “Told you so.“

Then she looked at Wanda and frowned as she noticed the girl‘s empty hands. “What about you, Wanda? Where‘s your dress?“

Wanda shrugged. “I didn’t find one. I‘ll just wear one of my old ones back at the Tower.“

 _The torn black ones from Sokovia_? Natasha thought but kept it to herself. No need to make the girl upset by mentioning her home.

Maria raised her eyebrows but shrugged as well. “Okay then.“

But Natasha didn‘t believe Wanda. She‘d seen the way the girl had looked at herself in the mirror when she was wearing the light blue dress, there was no way she’d leave it the store without it and wear a Sokovian one instead.

“How about some tea in the café across the street?“ Pepper suggested and Maria nodded enthusiastically.

“Oh, yes, that would be nice!“

But the Maximoff girl just shook her head. “I‘ll take the bus home if that‘s okay with you. I‘m not feeling that well.“

Pepper made a sad face at that. “Oh no. Are you sure you‘ll be okay on your own?“

Wanda nodded. “There‘s one in about three minutes, I‘ll be fine.“ Pepper and Maria hugged her goodbye, but she didn‘t dare to try hugging Natasha. The woman would probably snap her neck before she could even wrap her arms around her.

She waved the girls goodbye before she stepped out into the cold December air - without a jacket. She wrapped her arms around herself when the cold hit her, but it didn’t really help, so she soon started to shiver.

“I still can‘t believe you did that. You do have a heart.“

Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes. “Shut up, Pepper. I just couldn‘t stand seeing her leave that dress in the store. She looked so beautiful in it and she loved it, so I showed a little compassion, that‘s all.“

Maria raised her eyebrows as she opened the door. “I don‘t see how two hundred dollars are ‘a little compassion‘.“

The three women had spent two hours chatting over tea and cake and Natasha felt relaxed for the first time in a long time. She‘d missed spending time with the girls, so that was the reason why she didn‘t hit Maria in the face right there and then.

“Maria, just shut up, will you?“

Hill shrugged and pushed the door open, immediately wishing she hadn‘t. They were standing face to face with an angry Steve - scratch that, he looked positively fuming.

“Natasha,“ he growled low in his throat. He clenched his fists and Natasha flinched before Pepper pushed her further into the room to close the door. “I swear to god, if I could fire you and throw you out of this tower, I would do that right now.“

The Russian raised an eyebrow and wanted to put her purse away when Steve grabbed her by her wrist. “Where do you think you‘re going?“

She looked into his eyes and met his gaze with her own anger. “I wanted to put my purse away, idiot.“

His grip tightened. “I‘d like you to explain to me why Wanda walked nearly three miles in the snow without a coat while you three were chatting in a café.“

His voice was cold as ice and Natasha swallowed. He wasn‘t kidding. He was extremely mad. “She did what?” Then she shook her head. “She said she wasn‘t feeling well and wanted to take the bus home. She‘s not my daughter, I don‘t have to babysit her, she can make her own decisions.”

Steve narrowed his eyes. “You know what? The bus hasn‘t been serving this stop since 1995. Wanda knew that. Why would she prefer walking home instead of going to a café with you? Also, she told me that she didn‘t have a coat because you didn‘t let her wear the one she took with her. I can‘t believe it! What is wrong with you, Natasha?”

Natasha gasped in pain as he forgot about his own strength and squeezed harder. “Fuck you, Steve,” she hissed and ripped her arm out of his grasp. “It‘s her own fault, stop blaming me!”

Pepper and Maria had gone very quiet behind them, but now Pepper raised her voice. “You did what?” Natasha turned around to face her. “The girl could’ve frozen to death, Natasha. She told us she wasn’t feeling well.”

The Russian helplessly threw her hands up into the air. “Why do you act like it‘s all my fault?” Her voice sounded like the one of a whiny little kid but she couldn‘t help it.

“Because, Natasha, if you had put whatever problem you have with her aside, she wouldn’t have had to do that!” 

“She didn‘t have to!” She screamed at her friend now. “I didn’t tell her to! Stop!” She felt warm tears trailing down her cheeks and wiped them away in an angry swipe.

She took a deep breath before looking down at the ground. They had a point, after all. She was being childish. “Is she okay?” she whispered and sniffed.

Steve nodded and gently squeezed her arm. “Yeah. She‘s taking a warm shower right now. I‘d be thankful if you apologized to her as soon as she‘s done.” Nat nodded and tightened her grip around the bag with Wanda‘s dress in it.

Steve sighed before turning his attention to Maria. “Fury wants you in his office, now.” Then he looked at Pepper. “Tony told me to tell you to come down to his lab, he wants to talk to you about something.”

Both women nodded and disappeared in different directions.

“I‘m disappointed, Nat,” Steve whispered before he left as well. She swallowed hard before she straightened her back and went upstairs.

Before she could change her mind she entered Wanda‘s room and heard the shower running. The room was pretty like its owner: light colors, personal items - it looked like a home, the total opposite of hers.

Trying to be as quiet as she could, she put the bag on Wanda‘s messy bed before she grabbed a little piece of paper from the witch’s desk and scribbled _I‘m sorry -n_ on it and put it on top. Taking a last look back before she left the room again, she sighed quietly. She needed to fix this.

Nat took the teabag out of her mug when she heard a quiet shuffling noise upstairs. She looked up and standing there at the railing was Wanda, wearing the dress, a bright smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

Natasha smiled back softly. Dark brown curls were flowing over Wanda‘s shoulders down to her waist and made her look like she just stepped out of a fairytale.

 _Thank you_ , she mouthed and Natasha smiled even brighter. _You‘re welcome_ , she answered, before she took another mug from the cupboard.

“Tea?”


	2. part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two is finally here! thanks for the love i got here and on instagram, i appreciate it :) thanks to tia for reading through this chapter and telling me it’s good the way it is :) so every single word in this chapter is written by me, i hope there aren’t too many mistakes in it since english isn’t my first language.

**You and me here**   
**Underneath the mistletoe**   
**Under the mistletoe**   
**Kiss me 'til dawn**   
**Hold me close now**   
**You'll keep me warm**   
**Keep the ghosts out**

**-** sia

Of course Wanda got a terrible cold, but as a punishment (what Steve liked to call it) for Natasha’s behaviour Steve made her take care of the little witch.

At first Nat had hated it, but with time she came around and much to everyone’s surprise she put the problems she’d had with Wanda aside and was actually staying the night whenever Wanda’s nightmares became unbearable for the girl.

Bucky thought that maybe another reason for that were Nat’s own night terrors. He knew that she slept better with someone next to her, he’d done that for her before, as well as Steve and Clint, but these last months she hadn’t asked for someone anymore.

She knew what it meant to wake up screaming with nobody near to hold on to.

(What he didn’t know was that Nat didn’t dare to close her eyes, too scared of falling asleep and hurting Wanda in the process.)

That day Wanda felt good enough again to finally decorate the place. The girls had insisted on waiting until Wanda would be able to help, since it would be her first Christmas with the Avengers.

Natasha pushed a cup of tea into her hands before she put her hands to her own hips and looked at the boys, a challenging look in her green eyes. “So, I guess we’re ready to go.”

Tony clapped his hands and grinned. “Let me get the tree!” Bruce and Rhodey nodded enthusiastically while Pepper just rolled her eyes.

“Men,” she snorted and went on to take a few things out of the first decoration box. Maria rolled her sleeves up and helped Pepper with the candles she’d pulled out next.

Steve shrugged and nudged Bucky with his elbow, who flinched and raised an eyebrow. “Come on, help me get some wood.”

The Brooklyn boys went outside to get new wood for the fireplace where Wanda just stood, removing the dust from the marble (probably not the best activity for someone who’s been coughing the whole night, but nobody had the heart to tell her so).

Peter tapped on Nat’s shoulder as she balanced boxes of baubles in front of herself, so she weirdly turned her head to look at the boy. “Yeah?” she said and Peter held up his phone. “Christmas music?” Her eyes lit up.

Nat loved Christmas songs and it was hard not to know for anyone living with her since she hadn’t been listening to anything else since December had started. “Yeah, go ahead. The Bluetooth speaker should be next to the couch I think.” Peter beamed and went to search the box.

Meanwhile Natasha set the boxes down on the coffee table and then looked at Maria, who was standing on tiptoes on top of a ladder that didn’t look very safe. “Hill, I swear to god, if you fall and die I will kill you a second time.”

Maria giggled and took the hammer Pepper held out to her to secure the garland she was trying to put on the wall high up in the air.

“You know, I’m starting to think we should’ve let one of the boys do this. They’re taller than you, love,” Pepper chimed in with her redheaded friend. But Maria just shook her head.

“I don’t need a man,” she pouted.

“Adorable to see how sure you are about that,” a deep voice came from the door and everyone’s head shot around to look at Nick Fury in the doorframe, a black sweater on, not covering his eye for once.

That caught Maria by surprise so she turned too fast on the ladder and caused it to shake. Natasha saw how her feet lost the contact to the metal and opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out.

The woman’s dark hair framed her face for the part of a second before Natasha closed her eyes, preparing herself to hear the woman’s spine break even across the room as soon as she’d hit the floor.

But the sound didn’t come.

And Natasha slowly opened her eyes again.

Maria was hovering a few inches above the ground, surrounded by a red glow, holding her like a baby.

Wanda kept her hands outstretched, trembling and shocked, but she held Maria with her powers.

Pepper softly pulled her friend out of the red hold and Wanda broke down with a huff. Nat leaped across the room to check on Maria, who was as pale as the wall. “Are you okay?” she panted and squeezed Maria’s arm.

The brunette nodded and stared at Wanda. “Thanks,” she mumbled, but Wanda didn’t react, so Nat let Nick take over her place and knelt down next to Wanda. “Hey, hey,” she mumbled and cupped Wanda’s face.

“Hey, you did great. Thank you.” Wanda nodded absently and let Natasha press her to her chest. “Good girl,” Natasha whispered into her curls and she exhaled shakily.

 _You did it_ , she thought, Maria is safe. She’s alright. You saved her.

Maria as well as Wanda needed some time to collect themselves, but afterwards the decorating went on without further incidents.

Maria let Wanda secure the garland with her powers and had to admit that it worked better than what she had tried to do.

Bucky and Steve brought in the wood and made a fire that spread a cozy warmth all over the place.

A few hours later after everyone had helped, the Avengers stood in the middle of the room and looked around. Everything was glowing and sparkling, the atmosphere making them feel happy and safe.

“Are we done?” Tony asked and made Wanda flinch as something came to her mind. “The mistletoe!” she gasped.

Steve brought his palm to his forehead and sighed. “How could we forget!”

Natasha brought it in from the hallway and tried to put it above the door, but she terribly failed - the spy was way too small. Wanda giggled and helped her put it on the doorframe, before they both looked up at it and smiled.

“Kiss,” Clint said softly from across the room and Natasha’s eyes widened. “Uh, no.”

She tried to escape, but her friends were looking at her with crossed arms and raised eyebrows.

“The tradition says kiss.”

Natasha’s heart skipped a beat and then continued to stumble around in her chest.

She didn’t know why, but she had developed certain feelings for the witch and since she had stopped pushing her away, they became hard to ignore.

“No,” she said, but then felt cold fingertips close around her wrist. She turned to look at Wanda who was softly smiling at her and shook her head.

“This is bullshit, Wanda,” she whispered.

“But they are right. Come on, Natasha. It’s one kiss. I’m not going to get you pregnant.”

The last sentence was meant to be a joke, but it felt like a knife in Nat’s chest.

 _You still couldn’t if you were a man and we did more than kiss_ , she thought.

Nat looked at her friends a last time who were staring at them expectantly and knew that she wouldn’t be able to weasel her way out of it this time.

“Just a kiss,” she repeated quietly and looked at Wanda, who nodded assuringly, gently cupped her face and leaned in.

The witch’s eyes fluttered shut simultaneously with Natasha’s, whose heart leaped in her chest in anticipation.

Wanda grabbed two fistfuls of Natasha’s red hair at the back of her head the moment their lips met.

The Maximoff girl gasped softly, but Natasha swallowed the little sound with her soft lips.

Wanda quickly regained control over herself and returned the kiss that ended way too soon. She could’ve kept kissing Natasha for forever and a day.

Natasha drew back and stared at the girl’s red, wet lips, the eyes wide.

Embarrassed, she looked down at the ground and then went for the kitchen drawer to make herself a cup of tea.

“Tea, anyone?” she asked and hated herself for how shaky her voice sounded. “Yeah,” Clint mumbled and earned some sounds of agreement from the others.

Rhodey and Bruce helped Tony fix something on the tree and Pepper tried to lead Maria away from the scenery by telling her she thought something was wrong with one of the candles standing around the room.

Clint stood behind Natasha and placed a warm hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he murmured and buried his face in her hair, his front pressed to her back. “I shouldn’t have…-“

But Nat shook her head. “It’s okay,” she mumbled and closed the cupboard door. Now it was her friend who shook his head. He went too far with it this time, he knew that. He was aware of the jumble of feelings that she fought against and he felt awful for making it worse.

“I just wanted to give you a little push, that’s all,” he said quietly and that made her turn around. “A push in what direction?”

He shrugged. “Towards her.”

Natasha swallowed audibly, trying to calm her buzzing nerves. “Why would I want to make a step towards her?”

Clint just looked into her eyes, a soft look of pity meeting her cold gaze. Nat lost herself in the steady grey and felt herself break. He could read her like an open book. “I’m not good enough,” she whispered. “Please just let it be.”

Clint sighed and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “You know you are more than good enough.“

Nat inhaled shakily and her eyes found Wanda laughing with Peter on the couch across the room. Her heart ached with hurt and jealousy, but she nodded towards them so Clint looked at them too.

“That’s what she’s supposed to have. This… they look good together. Clint, what would the people say? It’s ridiculous. I’d break her. She deserves someone with less weight on their shoulders. I’m carrying every single one of them, Clint. Their blood, their bodies, even their screams. I can’t sleep without being drugged or cuffed to the bed. She deserves someone pure, someone she can start over with, forget what she’s seen.”

Her friend gently turned her face towards him with his fingertips. “What if that’s not what she wants?”

But Natasha just shook her head. “Then she’s ridiculously stupid.”

Clint almost smiled, looked at Wanda for a moment and then stared at his fingers that were still entwined with Nat’s. “You know, she’s asked me not to tell when I pointed it out to her, but she’s talking a lot about you when she’s around me. And when I say a lot, I mean almost only. Even more than about her brother. She gets these big, dreamy eyes and bites her lip and asks an absurd amount of questions. One might think she should run out of them sometime but she has new ones every day. I’m not telling her everything because some things are just things she should ask you in person. Look, Nat, what I’m trying to say is that she admires you. She likes you a lot. You can be a little intimidating, though. She once came to me after you’d been particularly mean to her again and she cried like a baby. I sat down on the couch with her and asked her what was wrong, although I knew you two had been training together, and I mean I can put two and two together, but still. Wanda wouldn’t talk. She’d just curl up into a ball at my side and cry, until she managed to ask me between sobs why you couldn’t love her the way she loved you. I didn’t understand that day, I thought she was just a kid who tried to belong, but I think I understand now. I’m not saying you should go ahead and marry her tomorrow, but just be open for whatever happens, okay? Don’t be so stubborn.”

Natasha slowly released her lip she’d been worrying between her teeth and looked down at the tiles. “Clint, I-“

Before she could finish her protest, Clint kissed her forehead and chirped: “Two teaspoons of sugar in my tea, don’t forget!”

She watched him leave and flop down on the couch next to Wanda, playfully pinching her into the side, getting something between a squeal and a laugh out of her.

Natasha’s heart ached with want to be the one laughing with Wanda, but she bit her lip and finished the tea for the team.

Wanda looked at her every once in a while, but looked away blushing whenever Natasha raised her head again. It was almost painful to look at, Clint thought.

“Hey there, you’re staring,” he said and gently nudged the girl with his elbow. She flinched.

“No, I’m not,” she protested, but the red in her cheeks told him otherwise. “You should do something about it, kid.”

Wanda shyly lifted her shoulders to her ears. “I know,” she whispered. “I just don’t know what.”

Right then Natasha balanced the tea on a tray and came over to her friends sitting on the couch. “There you go,” she said and passed everyone their own mugs.

Wanda was the last one and the girl was pretty antsy by now. When Natasha handed her the red mug she stretched her long fingers to brush Nat’s with them. A jolt of energy went through her at the touch and she could swear Natasha had felt it too.

“I need to use the bathroom,” Clint announced as he got the chance and stood up. Wanda sent a Thank You to him into his mind (she was allowed into his head and loved communicating with him like this, although she stayed away from thoughts and memories that involved other people, especially Natasha) and patted the now empty space next to her.

“Sit next to me?” she asked Nat in a little squeak and mentally slapped herself for how stupid it sounded. But the Russian took the offer and sat down next to her, their knees touching.

“We did great,” she told the team and they nodded. “Looks even better than last year,” Nick said.

Natasha raised an eyebrow at him for that comment. “You hate Christmas, Nick.”

The man shrugged. “As long as you are happy,” he explained, but just looked at one particular woman next to him. Natasha smiled knowingly and took a sip of her tea.

 _Now or never_ , Wanda thought in a moment of courage as she saw Natasha’s hand rest on her knee and took it.

Nat looked down at their entwined fingers for a second before she closed hers fully around Wanda’s and then turned her attention towards her tea again.

Even as she started talking to the others again, even when Clint came back and took the empty spot in the armchair, she didn’t let go of Wanda’s hand.

And Wanda felt like maybe Natasha liked her more than she’d thought. 


	3. part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter three! this isn’t proofread by anyone but me so i’m sorry for any mistakes. i’m also sorry that this chapter is so sad, but you’ll see why i needed to let this happen :) btw, i highly recommend listening to demi lovato’s only forever while reading this!

**Somewhere off in outer space**   
**There's a world, no wars, no hate**   
**Where all the broken hearts are safe**   
**I don't know where it is**   
**I just imagine it**

\- MKTO

After days and hours of begging, Steve finally managed to talk Natasha into baking some Christmas cookies with him.

The other Avengers were fast in joining them and soon the whole kitchen was filled with people who had more or less an idea of what they were doing.

Or of what they were supposed to be doing, at least.

Steve was very enthusiastic about preparing the dough with a little help that Natasha offered to him once in a while.

He‘d loved this most about Christmas when he‘d been a child and this let the old memories live again.

“Eggs,“ Nat recommended with a quick glance at the substance Steve was working on in his bowl. The man raised an eyebrow, but did as told.

“Already?“ he couldn’t keep himself from asking, though. She nodded and reached around Wanda to get a lemon.

“You would’ve forgotten them if you were being honest, Steve.”

He sighed. She was right, he would have. But he was just doing his best, after all.

“I wanna do the sprinkles!” Wanda exclaimed as she saw the raw cookies on the baking tray, before Tony could finish them. He rolled his eyes but eventually gave in and handed the little bottle of colorful sprinkles over.

Wanda smiled brightly as she decorated the cookies and Natasha took a moment to watch her. Her heart felt heavy in her chest and she asked herself if the girl had been doing this with her family, too, back then, when her life had still been intact.

She bit her lip and turned her attention back to the oven. She’d been doing this with her parents as well when she’d been very little. There were some memories they just couldn’t brainwash out of her.

Sure, they were faded by now, but some of the easy recipes were still crystal clear, burnt into the deepest corners of her mind.

The others were thankful for that, since not a single soul of them was that much of a baker. Maria and Pepper sometimes made a cake for the team and even Rhodey and Peter tried baking together sometimes, but these two always failed. It just wasn’t something they could figure out, not even as a team.

“Nat, move,” Maria ordered and pushed Natasha aside by her hips to put the baking tray into the oven.

The Russian looked at her friends who were covered in sugar, flour, sprinkles and even egg, looking exhausted. They‘d been baking the whole day already and the boxes she‘d been throwing at Vision earlier were pretty full by now.

“How about making the chocolate ones tomorrow?“ she asked into the round and everyone nodded.

“I can’t feel my arms anymore,” Sam complained and Bucky raised an eyebrow at him. “What can I say?” he asked and then smiled as if he’d just made the best joke to ever exist, lifting his metal arm.

Steve just sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” Nat said and gestured towards the mess around the kitchen. “Now help me clean this mess up.”

Wanda took two bowls from the counter and put them into the dishwasher, Steve threw a bunch of spoons into the sink, while Tony kept an eye on the cookies and Natasha put the ingredients back to where they had been before the huge baking project had started.

“Natasha?” they suddenly heard a quiet voice from the door and Nat spun around to look at Nick, who looked like he…

No, Nick Fury didn’t cry.

“Yeah?” she asked and raised an eyebrow.

“My office, now.”

Wanda flinched next to her at Nick’s harsh tone but Nat squeezed her arm in reassurance.

“Yeah, I‘ll just clean this up and-” 

“I said now.”

Natasha swallowed hard. Something seemed to be very wrong.

She replayed a few scenarios she wasn’t exactly proud of in her head, but she hadn’t messed up anything that bad in the past few months that would make Nick upset like that.

“Yeah,” she mumbled and followed the man to his office.

“I was done with this, Nick,” she croaked out, staring at her fingers. “You know I was.”

Nick had just told Natasha that she had to go on a mission she wasn’t comfortable with at all. It reminded her of her time in the Red Room and that wasn’t something she wanted to be reminded of, especially not during Christmas time.

He nodded and took her hands into his larger ones. “Nat. You know I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t have to. I didn’t take you under my wing for no reason. But it was you or Wanda, so I thought-”

Nat jumped. “No. I’ll do it. Leave Wanda out of this, I’m begging you.”

Fury gently brushed over her cheek. “I knew you wouldn’t let her take that mission, so I didn’t ask her in the first place. You’re strong, Natasha. But if you feel like you just can’t, then I won’t force you to do it. You’re not just an agent for me.”

 _Romanoff is comfortable with everything_ , she heard Steve’s voice in her mind, quoting what Fury had said to him.

She remembered the blanket over their heads, their bodies close, whispering promises over promises. A lot of them were broken by now.

But she knew Fury was telling the truth. She remembered moments of weakness, when he would sit down next to her on the bed, gently stroking her hair while she cried and screamed, her hands tied to the headboard.

She remembered the soft melody he’d hummed to soothe her. It had always helped.

He was like a father figure to Natasha, and she was something like the daughter he never had. She knew he wasn’t lying.

He wouldn’t send her on that mission if there was any other way.

There wasn’t.

“I’ll pack my bag and leave in the morning,” Nat whispered and squeezed his hand. “I’ll be home for Christmas.”

Nick gave her a soft smile in response. “I would be disappointed in you if you weren’t.”

That night, Nat was lying in bed, staring out of the huge window into the dark.

Wanda was next to her, looking at her back, feeling helpless.

Why did Nick have to send Natasha on a mission? Why couldn’t he just send her?

She bit her lip and closed her eyes. She was exhausted, she needed to sleep. Natasha never slept when she stayed with her anyways, so she knew the Russian was awake and would stay like that the whole night, keeping an eye on her.

But just as she was drifting off, she felt the bed shake slightly as if someone was crying and opened her eyes again.

“Natasha?” she mumbled and rolled over to look at the woman’s back. Pain and fear hung heavy in the air around them and Wanda pressed herself against Nat’s trembling body, curled up into a ball.

“Don’t cry, Natasha, please,” she whispered into her skin, her voice breaking.

“Please,” she breathed, before she couldn’t hold back the tears either.

“Natasha,” she sobbed. “Look at me, please.”

The spy didn’t move. She was embarrassed by her tears, she knew she needed to be stronger than that.

But she couldn’t stop crying. She didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to go on that mission, diving back into things she had done when she’d still been a puppet of the Red Room.

“Please, Natasha,” Wanda pleaded again and wrapped her arms around the older woman’s chest. “Please, please, just look at me.”

This time, Natasha let herself be shifted to look at the young witch. She whimpered in the process and Wanda’s heart clenched in her chest.

They were both staring into each other’s eyes, the tear stains all too visible on their cheeks.

Wanda slightly closed her eyes, brought her fingertips up to Nat’s cheek and leaned in, the lips lightly parted.

 _Come on_ , she begged in her thoughts but Natasha gently pushed her away.

“I can’t, Wanda,” she whispered. “Not now.”

“Not ever,” Wanda finished quietly.

She sighed and sat up, arms wrapped around her knees, red magic dancing in the air around them.

“No, Wanda. That’s not what I said,” Natasha protested and sat up as well behind the girl.

But Wanda just shrugged. “But that’s what you meant.”

Natasha pressed her lips together in pain. “It’s not.” 

“Then what is it?” Wanda snapped as she spun around, tangling her lower body in the sheets.

“Because it sure does feel like it. And I’m so sick of it, Natasha. I want you, you know that.”

She quickly shut her mouth, but the truth was out, there was no way to take it back.

She couldn’t look at Natasha, she just couldn’t.

How was she supposed to keep training with her? How was she supposed to fight her nightmares now?

Natasha would kick her out any second and Wanda wasn’t ready for that at all. 

She looked up.

Her eyes met Natasha’s that watched her with a softness she’d never seen in the spy’s expression before.

“I know, love,” she whispered and took Wanda’s hand into her own. Her hands were cold, but the touch was soft and sent a little jolt of energy through Wanda, just like it had done when she’d taken the tea from Natasha’s hands last time.

“But I just can’t. Not now, when I don’t even know if I will come back. Please. You need to understand.”

Wanda nodded and pulled her hand back. “You will come back,” she told Natasha, leaving no possibility to argue. “I need you to come back. You came back all these times before, what’s one more?”

 _You don’t know what this is about_ , Natasha thought but nodded, pulling Wanda to her chest.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “I’ll come back.”

 _I promise_ , hung in the air between them, but Natasha didn’t say it out loud. She didn’t want to make a promise she couldn’t keep.

“Stay,” she asked Wanda in something that sounded more like an order, but the girl nodded nonetheless, holding Natasha close as she fell back into the pillows once again.

“For as long as you want me to.”

“I hate goodbyes,” she explained to Steve and shrugged.

It was five in the morning and Natasha stood at the door as she looked at Steve and Wanda in front of her. “Will you hug them from me and tell them I’ll be back by Christmas?”

Steve sighed but nodded, pulling her into a strong embrace himself. “Be careful, Nat. We need you. I need you.”

His arms around her small body felt utterly familiar and she had to fight the tears back at the memories that were coming to the surface again.

“I will. I promise,” she whispered as a single tear escaped her eye and made its way down her cheek.

He held her for a few more moments before he let her go and let his fingers run through her hair. “Call us, yeah? Stay in touch, please.”

He looked over his shoulder where Wanda was sitting on the couch, her knees drawn up to her chest, tears making their way over her pale face. “She needs it the most,” Steve whispered to Natasha. “She fell for you, hard.”

Nat nodded and kissed his cheek. “I know. I will call.”

Then she let go of him and took a few steps towards Wanda. “Hey,” she murmured gently and the Maximoff girl looked up, sniffling. “Hey.”

When Natasha opened her arms with a crooked smile, she got up and let herself fall into the hug the Russian was offering.

“I’ll be home for Christmas, baby. Don’t worry.”

Wanda sobbed into her shoulder and tightened her arms around the woman. “Please take care of yourself,” she managed to beg between sobs and Natasha nodded, carefully cupping the girl’s face. “I will, I promise.”

Wanda whimpered. “I’ll miss you so much.”

Nat had known that she’d say these words, so she smiled softly. “I told FRIDAY to unlock my room for you whenever you want to go there. You can take my things, I’m giving you permission this time.”

Wanda actually had to laugh at that, brushing her tears away.

“Just make sure you wash them before I come back.”

Wanda nodded. “I will.”

A wave of emotions hit Natasha as she let her forehead rest against Wanda’s. Everything inside her screamed with want to kiss the girl in front of her but she couldn’t. Not yet.

“I’ll call,” she said instead and gently pushed Wanda away. “I’ll see you soon.”

She turned around and took the bag from the table, ready to leave. Standing in the doorframe she looked back and saw Steve holding Wanda.

“Goodbye,” Nat said and waved, before she stepped through the door and closed it behind her.

Then she took a deep breath.

 _Just a few days_ , she told herself. _A few days and you’ll be with her again. Hopefully._


	4. part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, first of all: i am so incredibly sorry. i know that this is 5 days late but i wasn’t happy with it on sunday and i didn’t want to post something i wasn’t satisfied with, because you deserve a good ending for this. i made it longer than the other chapters as a kind of apology. i also wanted to say thank you for the feedback i received here and on instagram, it made me super happy! thanks for reading! :)

part 4

**I'll find my way back home**   
**And light up every tree**   
**We will hang our stockings for you and one for me**   
**Cause Santa called to make sure I'm prepared**   
**He said "Pack your bags and tell them you'll be there"**

\- meghan trainor 

One call. Only one. That had been it. And with every second that passed, the Avengers grew more concerned.

It was the afternoon of the 24th December and Natasha still wasn‘t home. Steve sighed and stared at his phone on the table as if that would make it ring. It didn‘t. Of course it didn’t.

“Hey,” he greeted Tony who had just entered the kitchen and was looking like a ghost. “Hi,” Tony mumbled back and made himself some coffee, while he looked at Steve and the phone in front of him.

“Still no word from Nat?” he asked over the sound of the coffee machine, unsure of whether he wanted to hear the answer or not. He probably didn’t, because he already knew.   
“No.”

But hearing it made it even worse. He sighed as he set his steaming mug aside and buried his face in his hands. “Something must’ve happened. But… Natasha wouldn’t let anything happen, she’s- she’s…”

The rest of the sentence died in his throat as the realization hit him: Nat was only a human like all of them, after all.

Steve nodded, his heart heavy in his chest. “She’s not coming back,” he finally said out loud what everybody had been knowing deep down in their hearts all along.

Tony bit his lip. “Who’s telling Wanda?” he whispered because he didn’t trust his voice at this point. Steve sighed and got up. “I will. Do you know where she is?”

His friend shrugged. Steve left. And Tony’s coffee was forgotten.

_321 hours and 43 minutes without Natasha already_ , Wanda thought as she looked at the red digits on the spy’s alarm clock. _She promised_.

She was lying in the spy’s bed, tangled in the pastel blue sheets. Nat’s room wasn’t dark at all, one shouldn’t think there was an ex-assassin living in here.

She looked at the pinboard on the wall across the room and tears came to her eyes once again.

Polaroid pictures were pinned all over it, most of them had Wanda on them, some others even Natasha and Wanda. A few were also displaying the others, but Wanda closed her burning eyes. She couldn’t stand seeing them anymore.

She missed Natasha, and deep down she knew the spy wasn’t coming back. The problem was, Wanda couldn’t admit it to herself.

It was just so unbelievably hard to grieve when there was no body to prove that the person was actually gone.

Wanda thought back to Natasha’s last words before she’d hung up on her days ago. _I know_. Two words with so much meaning behind them. Because Wanda’s words before that had been three. _I need you_.

A soft knock on the door let her open her eyes again and as she reached out with her powers, she could feel Steve’s presence from outside the room.

The man was surrounded by heavy sadness and Wanda’s heart skipped a beat. What if he knew what happened to Natasha? If he was being that sad, it couldn’t be anything good.

“Yeah?” she asked, her voice shaking. Steve pushed the door open and sighed when he caught sight of Wanda in one of Nat’s hoodies.

“Hey,” he managed to say before he sat down next to her on the bed and pulled her into a hug. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispered. “She’s not coming back.”

Wanda gasped, but no air reached her lungs. _God, please, no_.

Then she started to cry, clinging to Steve as if he could save her from drowning in that dull pain that was slowly reaching every inch of her body, beginning at her heart.

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispered over and over again as he ran his fingers through her hair, but that didn’t make it better.

Steve knew Natasha way better than Wanda did and if he was saying she wasn’t coming back, then she wasn’t.

But Wanda didn’t want to acknowledge it, she simply couldn’t. Living without Natasha seemed like a ridiculous horror fantasy to her, a life without any light or color.

She hadn’t even said _I love you_.

That was probably the biggest regret as she sat there, her face buried in Steve’s shirt and wishing she’d died back in Sokovia alongside her brother.

“You look beautiful,” Clint suddenly said behind Wanda and made the girl turn around.

The man looked as bad as she felt: red, puffy eyes, pale skin. He was wearing a nice suit, but it didn’t fix his whole appearance.

“Thanks,” she whispered back. She was wearing the dress Natasha had bought for her, but it didn’t look as pretty to her anymore. Not without Nat in her red dress next to her.

“Hey, would you mind helping me with the zipper?” she asked Clint what she’d asked Nat when she’d tried it on for the first time. _If you could help me with mine?_

“Sure,” Clint said and closed the dress, quickly hugging Wanda afterwards before she could move. “It’s gonna be okay one day,” he whispered and she instantly knew he was talking about Natasha.

“Don’t you miss her?” Wanda whispered into his neck, tears making their way over her face once again.

“Of course I do,” Clint protested. “She was my best friend. I loved her as if she was my very own sister.”

Wanda just shook her head. “I loved her,” she sobbed. “I loved her and I wasn’t brave enough to tell her.”

Clint gently stroked her hair as he sighed. “She knew, Wanda. She always thought she wasn’t good enough for you, but she knew. She knew. I think that’s what’s important, isn’t it?”

Wanda wailed. “She was more than good enough,” she cried. “Why did she never tell me?”

Clint shrugged, carefully taking a step back and brushing the girl’s tears away. “She loved you, too, Wanda. Making it known just wasn’t something that came easy to her.”

She bit her lip. “I hate that it hurts so much,” she whispered. Clint smiled softly.

“I know. But she’d kick your ass if she knew that you want to skip Christmas because of her. So come on, let’s go to the bathroom and tame your curls, young lady.”

Wanda was too exhausted to protest.

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let her go on that mission. This time, the world should’ve just saved itself on its own,” Nick mumbled, face buried in his hands.

Maria sat next to him on the couch, her arms wrapped around him, her head resting against his arm. She wasn’t crying anymore, but she had been - for hours.

“It’s not your fault, Nick,” Pepper tried to take some weight off his shoulders.

“She’s right,” Sam said, staring at the tree. Bucky could see the tears in his eyes. They sparkled like a thousand stars, he thought, and on another occasion that could’ve been poetic, but right now it just hurt like crazy.

“She’d be so pissed at us for being sad,” Tony chuckled and Steve nodded.

“She’d be like _why are y’all crying? It’s ridiculous. Stop acting like babies_.”

Peter softly smiled, nodding. “Yeah, she was like that.”

Everybody flinched at the past tense Peter had used, but they knew that they had to move on eventually.

The friends sat together around the tree, all in their expensive Christmas outfits. The only ones left were Clint and Wanda, but they were currently busy with the Sokovian’s hair.

So when the door opened with a little click, they all thought they were dreaming. Only Steve raised his head and thought he might die on the spot when he saw who had just entered the living room.

He jumped up and knocked over two cups of tea in the process of running towards the tired woman that was covered in dirt, looking completely lost standing in the room.

“Natasha,” he breathed out as he lifted her off her feet and turned round and round with her in his arms.

“Jesus, Natasha,” he repeated when he felt her warm body in his arms, the heartbeat against his chest.

She giggled into his ear and buried her face in his neck. “Steve.”

Pepper was the first one of the others to turn around and screamed in surprise.

“Natasha!” she cried out and leaped towards them, taking Natasha out of Steve’s arms and held her tight. “Don’t you ever scare us like that again,” she sobbed into the Russian’s dirty hair.

Natasha smiled as the others reached her and hugged her fiercely. “I told you I’d be home for Christmas. You are making such a drama out of this, guys.”

“Wanda?” Peter’s voice in the doorframe let Wanda and Clint turn around, the straightening iron burning Clint’s fingers.

“Ouch,” he grumbled and put it aside. “Damn you.” 

“She’s home,” Peter panted and smiled. Wanda’s eyes widened.

The little twinge in her heart a few moments ago hadn’t been the same as the pain that the grieve brought. Her heart had told her that Natasha was home.

She rushed out of the room and stared down into the living room when she stopped at the stairs.

Peter wasn’t joking. There she was, a dirty, torn white dress covering her tiny body, laughing with Maria in the middle of the living room.

“Natasha!” Wanda cried out and blindly stumbled down the stairs.

The Russian raised her head.

“Natasha,” she sobbed and reached for the older woman who was looking at her in surprise for a second, before she started to cry too and took Wanda by her waist to pull her in.

But the girl had other plans, which Natasha realized just as their lips crashed together in a desperate kiss and she could taste Wanda’s tears on her lips.

Or were they her own? She didn’t even know anymore at this point.

And this time, she didn’t pull back.

Too much had happened these last days and she was actually pretty lucky to be able to stand here and kiss the girl.

“Wanda,” she mumbled when Wanda finally broke away and held her tight. “Oh god, Wanda.”

Wanda looked at her and cupped her face with trembling hands. “You’re here,” she whispered. “You’re actually here.”

Natasha laughed. “Of course, baby, I promised.”

Wanda kissed her forehead and wrapped her arms around her neck. Nat smiled at Clint through her tears and her friend smiled back.

They both deserved it, he thought.

Nat didn’t know for how long they had been standing there, holding each other, when they finally let go of the other one.

Natasha smiled when she saw how pretty Wanda looked in her dress and bit her lip. “You look pretty,” she told her and Wanda put her fingertip to Nat’s chest. “Thanks. But you look terrible and we have to change that.”

At that, Steve got up and came over to them. “I’d be relieved if we could get her the needed medical attention first.”

But the Russian shook her head. “It’s fine, Steve. It’s just some scratches and bruises, nothing a good nap couldn’t heal. I just want to be with Wanda now.”

The last sentence was quiet, unsure about how Wanda would react, but the witch smiled and took her hand.

“It’s fine, Steve. I’ll get her clean and dressed and if I find something severe I’ll tell you.”

Steve sighed but stepped aside and let Wanda help Natasha climb up the stairs.

When they entered Nat’s room, the spy raised one eyebrow so high that if she had bangs it would probably disappear beneath them.

“Uh,” Wanda stammered. “I forgot to wash your things.” She blushed and bit her lip in embarrassment.

Natasha walked over to the bed where the black hoodie was, brought it up to her face and inhaled deeply. “Smells like you,” she remarked, but an explanation regarding if that was a good or a bad thing didn’t follow.

“You should go take a really quick shower,” Wanda said to draw her attention back to herself, away from the things she’d worn and not washed afterwards like she’d promised.

Natasha looked at Wanda and nodded. “Sure. I’ll be back in a second.”

 _Join me, help me a little bit? My body’s pretty sore, I can’t reach my back at all_ , was what she wanted to say, but she felt like it was way too soon for such a request.

So she went into the bathroom, leaving Wanda alone in the bedroom, who was trying to fix the mess as good as possible.

 _It still looks like shit_ , she thought to herself as she looked around. She’d definitely have to deal with this later.

Instead, she took the red dress out of Natasha’s closet and put it on the bed.

With a click the bathroom door was unlocked and Wanda found herself staring at Natasha wrapped in a white towel, her dripping hair making a mess on the floor.

“Oh, wait, let me help you, you’re- you are making a mess, Jesus, Nat,” she rambled before she got hold of a towel in the bathroom and gently dried Natasha’s hair with it.

“Leave them like that?” she asked. “I love the curls.”

Natasha tried to shrug, but hissed in pain. “Sure,” she mumbled instead and reached for the dress, letting go if the towel simultaneously and a little gasp escaped Wanda’s lips.

She quickly covered her eyes and turned away, but she’d seen _something_.

“You could’ve at least warned me,” she pouted and heard Natasha chuckle in response. “What, are you complaining?” 

“What? No, I’m just not that fond of witnessing something I’m not supposed to see at all.”

Natasha snorted. “It’s not like I would’ve done it if I didn’t want you to see it. You didn’t kiss me out of pure boredom down there in front of literally everyone, did you?”

Wanda bit her lip. How could someone be so confident about themself? “No,” she whispered.

“See?” Nat replied. “Then stop hiding behind your hands and help me with this goddamn dress.”

Slowly, Wanda turned to look at the woman in front of her and now gasped audibly.

But this time, it wasn’t the surprise, but it wasn’t the obvious beauty in front of her either, it was Natasha’s thighs and waist, littered with dark bruises.

“What did they do to you?” she asked in disbelief and gently touched a blue spot.

And another.

And another.

Nat slowly ran her fingers through Wanda’s hair. “It’s okay, Wanda. They’ll be gone by the end of the week.”

Wanda sighed and pulled the dress up, like she’d been asked to do, gesturing for Nat to turn around.

The moment she saw the woman’s back, another sound escaped her, but this time it wasn’t a gasp anymore.

She traced the red line with her fingers and tried to hold her tears back.

“This one’s new,” she whispered, looking at the scarred back in front of her.

“It’s fine, really. What’s one more? Just close the dress, please,” Natasha pleaded and Wanda fulfilled her wish.

“I think I’ll leave my back like that,” the woman announced as she stood face to face with Wanda again.

“It’s a part of you,” Wanda replied, quickly brushing over Nat’s cheek. “Nobody said you should hide it. As long as you’re comfortable with it, we’re comfortable with it, too.”

Natasha smiled as she took Wanda’s hand into her own. “Then let’s go join the others, make sure they’re not asleep by now.”

Wanda laughed and nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Okay, it’s Steve’s turn!” Bucky shouted and threw a present across the room that hit Steve right in the chest.

“You could’ve given it to Sam who could’ve passed it to me, idiot,” Steve complained lovingly as he picked it up and opened the package with a flick of the wrist.

“Bucky,” he laughed as he held up the pair of Captain America socks his best friend had bought for him.

“You know I’m not the best at buying presents,” Bucky apologized and Steve raised his eyebrows.

“Buck. You haven’t been buying me anything else besides socks on any Christmas, ever. I can’t believe you can’t get more creative than that, man. Thanks.”

Tony shrugged as he passed Cap his present. “Then you won’t be too happy about these.”

Steve narrowed his eyes and removed the wrapping paper. “Tony I swear to god,” he said when a bunch of underwear fell into his hands.

“Does anyone have something else for me than socks and underwear?”

Natasha laughed and nodded, pushing a little present into his hands. “Here.”

Steve smiled and opened it, and his smile grew even wider, looking at the different bottles of paint. “Oh, wow, they‘re amazing!“

Nat slightly blushed. She‘d hoped he would like them.

“I thought you might need them for your next project.”

Her friend put them away and hugged her. “Definitely.”

Now Wanda got to her feet and picked up the present she’s bought for Steve. “You might need these, too, then,” she explained as she gave it to him and he unpacked the expensive looking brushes Wanda had bought when she‘d been Christmas shopping with Peter.

“You two really are angels. Thanks.”

After Steve was done with his presents, it was Natasha’s turn. The spy got a bunch of earrings from Bucky, new Christmas socks from Sam, a dress with matching shoes from Pepper and Maria and a lot of different things from the other friends, before she reached Wanda’s present.

“I wasn’t quite sure about it,” the witch started quietly as Natasha removed the wrapping paper. “But Clint said I should give it a try, so I did. I hope you like it.”

When Natasha pulled the red pointe shoes out, she bit her lip. “Oh,” She made and looked at them more closely.

Wanda had embroidered little motives onto them, little dancers in colorful dresses, flowers, snowflakes…

“They’re beautiful,” Natasha whispered and hugged Wanda tight. “I’ll try them out tomorrow, thank you so much!”

(What she didn’t tell her was that she didn’t really dance anymore. She didn’t even know if she’d been a ballerina in the first place.)

But Wanda smiled brightly at Clint, who sent a _told you so_ into her mind.

“Get this huge present over here, Cap!” Natasha ordered as she carefully put the pointe shoes on the floor next to her.

Steve sat down next to her with his present and scratched the back of his head. “So… this is a kind of cooperation with Wanda I guess? I didn’t know if it wasn’t too much, but I went for it anyways.”

Natasha made a movement that could‘ve been a shrug and opened the present.

She gasped at the framed painting she’d exposed.

“I saw this once while you were dreaming… you were sleeping on the couch while I was reading. I didn’t look inside your head, I really didn’t, but the pictures literally forced themselves on my mind. So I let them in. I showed Steve what to paint and… that’s the result,” Wanda mumbled, looking at the painting.

“Mom,” Nat whispered and ran her fingers over the woman’s face.

“Dad,” followed when she reached the man on the right.

The painting was a scene from a long time ago, from another life. It was Christmas and Nat had been about three years old, sitting on her mother’s lap in the kitchen and helping her make her father’s favorite cookies. Her father was looking at them and laughed.

It was their home back in Russia, that much she still knew. A lot of the memories they‘d erased, but not the ones revolving around Christmas.

Steve had painted her parents so vivid, they looked like they could jump out of the picture and hug her again. She missed them.

“That‘s…-” She choked on the words, then tried again: “That’s beautiful. Thanks, Steve.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek and then looked at Wanda. “We’ll talk about this later, young lady,” she threatened, but Wanda knew she didn’t mean it, so she gave her a smile and wasn’t surprised at all when Nat smiled back.

“Maria, choose a present,” Sam said and everybody turned their attention towards the brunette that was looking at her presents with wide eyes.

“That one,” she said and pointed at a present that was wrapped in blue paper.

“Oh, that’s mine,” slipped out of Nick’s mouth with excitement. Natasha laughed. It felt good to be home.

“Whoever had the idea to order Pizza is my Christmas hero for every day of the next year. Nobody can beat that Christmas dinner,” Steve announced and Bucky scoffed.

“Did you forget about my mom’s back in the day?”

His friend just shrugged. “Yeah, okay. But still. That was amazing.”

Rhodey collected all of the empty boxes around the room and threw them into the trash. “But y’all are making a huge mess,” he said as he sat back down next to Tony.

Bruce looked at him with an eyebrow raised. “Hey, look on the bright side: no dishwashing today!”

When she heard that, Pepper was outraged. “Now you hold your breath for a second. If anyone does the dishes, it’s me and Maria.”

Wanda gasped. “Hey, that’s not true! Nat and I help a lot, too. Right Nat?”

She looked at the woman for some support, but the Russian was sound asleep at Bucky’s side.

“Oh,” Wanda whispered. “She deserves the rest,” Tony said and took Pepper’s hand. “It’s late anyways. Let’s just take a quick walk around the Tower and then head to bed.” The woman nodded and got up. “Sure.”

Wanda glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. It was nearly midnight by now, they were right.

A lot of the others took the opportunity too and went to bed until it was just her and Bucky with the sleeping Natasha between them.

“You love her, don’t you?” Bucky suddenly asked and made Wanda jump with it.

“Uh,” she stammered out but he smiled softly. “I know that look on your face,” he explained and gently brushed a strand of Nat’s hair out of the woman’s face.

“You loved her too, at some point in time, am I right?” Wanda asked back hesitantly, but Bucky didn’t mind.

“Natalia and I have history together, but I don’t know if you could call it love. You should ask her about it yourself someday.”

Wanda nodded and looked at the huge tree that was still sparkling.

The singing of the tree that Tony had presented this evening had been extremely funny and entertaining and even Pepper had to admit that it hadn’t been that bad of an idea.

“Hey, little one,” Bucky asked after a few minutes of silence between them. Not an awkward silence though, they both knew that it wasn’t necessary to speak all the time.

“Yeah?” Wanda asked and looked at him inquiringly.

“I’m tired. Would you mind taking her? Or should we wake her up?”

Wanda looked at Natasha’s soft features that she had in her sleep and sighed.

“How am I supposed-” she started, but Bucky was faster and carefully put Natasha into Wanda’s arms.

The Russian made some content noises and then kept on sleeping.

“Don’t ask. Just do.” Then he got up and smiled at her. “Good night, Wanda.”

Wanda smiled as she tightened her hold around Natasha. “Night, Bucky.”

Then she was alone with Natasha.

The spy looked so at peace with herself and the world as she slept and Wanda’s heart felt like it might burst with all the love she held inside her chest for her.

As if she felt it, Nat’s eyelids started to flutter and she looked at Wanda with sleepy eyes.

“Hey there,” Wanda softly mumbled and ran her fingers through the red curls once.

“Hey there yourself,” Natasha chuckled and sleepily buried her face in Wanda’s dress that’s been bunched up a little over her stomach.

Wanda actually felt brave for a second and kept on running her fingers through Nat’s hair. The Russian happily accepted the affectionate gesture and sighed.

“I’ve missed you,” Wanda suddenly mumbled and Natasha made a little grumpy noise. “I missed you, too,” she then admitted, making no move to change her position. Wanda bit her lip.

“Are you okay, Nat?”

Hearing that, the older woman raised her head. “Sure. Don’t worry about it.”

But Wanda felt that she was lying. “Stop lying to me, Natasha. There’s no use in that, I’ll always feel it.”

Now Natasha did sit up and stared at Wanda with narrowed eyes. “Are you in my head again?” she asked and Wanda flinched.

She wasn’t, she knew better than that by now.

“No, no I’m not.”

But Nat’s guard was up again and the magical moment destroyed.

 _Well done, Wanda_ , the girl thought to herself, as she sat up as well.

They both looked at the Christmas tree in silence like Wanda and Bucky had done earlier, but this silence wasn’t comfortable at all. It was heavy with pain and guilt and unspoken thoughts.

“I got you something for Christmas, too,” Nat broke the silence all of a sudden and looked at Wanda, as she fumbled around under her dress and then pulled out a little box.

“It’s not wrapped, I’m sorry.” Wanda didn’t care.

“It’s okay. Thanks.” She took the box and opened it slowly.

“I didn’t want to give them to you in front of everyone,” Natasha explained when the box was open.

“When I met you for the first time you wore these rings and… I don’t know. After your brother’s death you stopped one day and I’m sure you have your reasons for it, but I thought that maybe it had something to do with the memories that were connected to these rings. I always liked when you wore them, so I thought you might like new ones. I was travelling around Russia for that mission and on every market that I visited, I bought one. You don’t have to wear them if you can’t. I just… thought.”

Wanda looked at the pieces of jewellery and tears came to her eyes. They were beautiful and she could see that Natasha really put her heart and soul into picking out the most beautiful ones for Wanda.

“They’re-” Wanda started, but her voice broke. Natasha bit her lip. “You can give them back if you want to. It’s okay, it was a stupid idea. I didn’t want to make you upset.” Wanda shook her head.

“No,” she whimpered and helplessly lifted her hands up a little. “It’s not-”

Natasha slipped off the couch and kneeled in front of Wanda, letting her hands rest on Wanda’s knees and soothingly rubbing little circles on the skin with her thumb.

“It‘s just-” she started again when Nat let her cheek lean against Wanda’s thigh.

“Pietro got me these rings over the years. Gave his food for old pieces of jewellery that old women had and didn’t wear anymore. He knew better than to give me rings that were stolen. He knew that I hated it when he stole.”

Natasha realized that Wanda was actually using the past tense when she was talking about her dead brother. It had taken her quite some time at first.

“I couldn’t wear them anymore because the person I loved most in this world got me these rings and that person was gone.”

Natasha gently squeezed her knee.

“And now-” Wanda wanted to go on, but her voice was shaking.

“And now,” she tried again, “it’s happening again. It’s a little overwhelming that the person I love most in this world bought me rings, you know?”

There, she’d said it. Natasha’s head shot up.

“The person you- I mean…”

Wanda worried her lip between her teeth and looked up at the ceiling. “I love you. I hate that I love you, but I do. I didn’t want it to happen, I promise. When I came here I wanted to stay away from you, leave you alone. But… I couldn’t. And then I fell for you. I’m sorry.”

Natasha was paralyzed. She looked at Wanda’s tear-stained face and tried to comprehend what she’d just heard.

“You’re in love with me?” she asked, doubting.

Finally, Wanda looked at her again. “Yes. I’m deeply, madly in love with you.”

Natasha could feel how the tears escaped her eyes and ran over her warm cheeks.

Wanda loved her.

She could barely understand, but Wanda had said it.

“You’re in love with me,” she repeated, crying, but this time it wasn’t a question, she just said it again so maybe her heart could understand, too.

“Yes,” Wanda told her softly. “If that isn’t what you want, I can try to-” 

“No!” Natasha cut her off and pulled Wanda down into her lap. “Please, no. I want this.”

She brushed a few curls out of Wanda’s face and then cupped it with both her hands.

“Can I-?” She stopped, because as always, words failed her.

“Kiss me?” Wanda asked, voice barely above a whisper. Natasha nodded as her heart continued to do somersaults inside her chest.

“Sure,” Wanda breathed against Natasha’s lips, before she closed the small space between them.

It was actually their third kiss, but this time they had thought about it, wanted it. They’d been prepared for this.

But then again, nothing could’ve prepared them for the feeling of the other one’s lips against their own again.

Wanda buried her hands in Natasha’s hair while the Russian put hers to the girl’s back.

When they broke away, it was only for air.

“I love you,” Wanda panted and Natasha kissed her again.

She wasn’t ready to say it, not yet.

Wanda kissed back fiercely, but then gently brought some space between them again.

They just stared into each other’s eyes for a while, gasping for air, their lips blood red.

“I love you too,” suddenly tumbled out of Natasha’s mouth and she quickly covered it with her hands. It sounded foreign, hearing the sentence out of her own mouth.

She took the hand away, then tried again. “I love you.”

Wanda giggled in her lap and brushed a thumb over her cheek. “Prove it,” she whispered and Natasha closed her eyes and kissed Wanda again, pushing her into the couch.

Natasha wouldn’t forget what she’d seen on that mission, but she also wouldn’t forget how lucky she got, because sitting here on the cold living room floor, kissing Wanda in her lap - it was a gift.

She wouldn’t forget that for the rest of her life either. 


End file.
